I have just last week lost my 8yr old faithfull Border Terrier, i am devastated and hav'nt stopped crying yet, i am totaly lost without her, she was my little girl and my life feels so empty without her and my house feels so strange, i have been contacted by a BT breeder who has a 5yr old BT girl to re-home, as she don't meet show standard, i have seen a pic of her and the breeder is a good one, im just in a dillema as to wheather it is too soon after my major loss, i would love to have another BT but some think im rushing into it, i have always had BT's and love them dearly, i am supposed to be going to see her tomorow and travelling a fair distance, can anyone help with some advice as to wheather i am rushing or is this normal, i also keep thinking my Gypsy may be a bit put out with me if i do take another, im so confused as to what is the best thing to do, help !!!

Sorry about your loss.   My personal opinion is I do not think that it is too soon, it will give you something else to do and take your mind off losing your girl.

When you get there, if you do not like her you do not have to bring her home.   I would think that it would be for a trial period to see if you are suited to each other.

Would not think that Gypsy would be put out with you for being kind hearted and offering your home to another BT.

Ah thanks for that, i do think it might help me and i feel that with her being a older girl and not a puppy will take my mind off losing my baby, i dont feel im trying to replace Gypsy cause i could never, but do have love and time to give to another, thanks again, xxx

So sorry for your loss, after I lost my first girl it took me almost a year to add to our pack ( the pup was a relative)
There is no right or wrong answer to this one, it's how you feel. You are not looking to replace Gypsy as nothing ever could BUT if you went and saw this dog and decided it was right for you it may help occupy your time and you in turn would also be providing a dog that needed it a loving home.

Go and see what you think, don't be pressurised, go with your heart. I wish you luck with your decision.

No, you can never replace Gypsy, each dog has different characteristics, rather like children, and each has a special place in your heart, but if your are able to offer your home to another that has to be good.

I will go and see her and im sure she will let me know what she thinks too, they are pretty good judges as well, and like you say she will keep me occupied, BT's are not for sitting still for long, i do feel a little better now Thank You, xxx

There is no way you can replace a lost much loved friend but you can give another love. She will give you a reason to get up and make your house a home again, go see if you like one another and if you do you will know she is there to help you recover from your loss - another dog is never a replacement but always available to be loved in their own right.

Good luck I hope you are made for each other.

Just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss - I know, like most on here, how hard it is to lose a much loved companion. Like the others I think that the fact you are thinking about giving a home to another dog is a great tribute to the one you have lost, a different dog won't replace her in your heart but might give you some comfort. Good luck with your visit.

Only you know what is the right time, we are all different. You know I lost my Rufus this week, and I have been in contact with a breeder already and there is a possible litter (bitch pregnant) -this just FELT right. Nothing certain yet but I go on my instincts. Like I said in my tribute to Rufus, the best tribute I can give to him is to get another of the same breed, showing he was so special I want another.

You are not replacing her, just giving love to another dog. She knows how much you loved her and will be glad you are helping another one. We got another dog just a week after losing our much loved girl nearly two years ago. It was the best decision for us as it took our mind off our own grief and helped our other dog settle down again. I will never foget or love the girl we lost any less but we are giving another one a good home and lots of love. Good luck and Im sorry for your loss.
Donna

So very sorry for your loss.  As someone else has already mentioned, there won't be many on here that haven't felt the pain you are feeling now.

Some people need time to come to terms - others need someone else to care for.  So we are all different.  I know when I lost one dog in particular, I desperately needed another to look after, and care for, and cuddle.  And it wasn't in any way a replacement.

I am sure that, by giving a home to another, it will help you with your loss.  If it definitely isn't for you, you will know in your heart when you meet her.  And, somehow, I think, given your love of the breed - you will end up bringing her home.

Nobody that loves dogs will judge you, or say that you are replacing your previous one.  Go for it.

Jean

it took 5 years for the breeder to realise she dodnt fit the show standard???? warning bells would be ringing!!!

Thank you for all your advice, i realy do appreciate it and i will go and meet them, i do love the breed and do feel that i will be giving a loving home to a older girl, im only told that she didnt meet show standards and i know she has had a litter from her, they do look like good breeders and they have some champs in the pedigrees, not that this matters to me ( the pedigree ) as my Gypsy had lots of top names in hers but i didnt get her to show, just to love and care for, i have had a few people say " oh Elaine, its only a dog" how totaly wrong they are, so i will go on my trip tomorow and i will let everyone know how i get on, oh and the breeder did say she didnt want any money for her, so if i do bring her home i intend to make a donation to a animal charity as i think it would be fitting, once again a big thanks to you all for your words and opinions i realy do value it, xxx

i should think the breeder doesnt want money for her either! what a cheek - breeding from a dog that is 'not show standard', they should be ashamed of themselves and cant be good breeders. im sure she will be better off with you now they have fininshed using her!

In fairness we dont know that this bitch has been bred from. It may be that she has been returned to the breeder,it may be any number of reasons. I have known bitches that do not make 'the grade' that have produced champions. Untill the op tells us otherwise it's a bit unfair to jump to conclusions.

Oops! must put my specs on when reading posts lol

Depends on how near the standard you are looking for, the breeder may have meant she was not doing as well as hoped. As to breeding from a dog that is not absolute championship material don't you all. I thought it was the background of the animal along with the health that would be under consideration when one decides to take a litter. Perhaps the litter proved disappointing, who knows, think until a visit has been made and the actual dog been met then it is best not to jump to conclusions about the dog or the breeder..

" breeding from a dog that is 'not show standard', they should be ashamed of themselves and cant be good breeders"

A little harsh - dont you think?

Your show standard may be entirely different to my show standard for example.

Please let this poor lady look forward to this event at such a distressing time for.

She may well just mean she isn't up to Crufts standard or something - in some breeds, the bitches often aren't at their best until they'd had a litter. So she could have had a litter at 2 or 3, taken a year to regain her coat, but still not be getting the top awards at 5 so not up to the standard the breeder wanted. Doesn't mean she's not a good example of the breed at perhaps open level. I hope it all works out - if I didn't already have 3 dogs, I would definitely be wanting another asap when I lost one, I can't imagine a house without dogs!

Hi all, i am back and have brought the girly home with me, it feels a bit strange for us both at the moment, when i got there she came to me straight away and was very friendly, she has been kept outside so is a little timid and a bit smelly, but i can cope with that, she was very good in the car coming home and is now sat next to me having a sleep, she has had a litter and breeder said one pup was still born due to a defect and that she didnt want to breed from her again, she did say that if i have any problems with her i can take her back, but she does seem a nice girl, im sure once she gets used to mixing with people she will be very friendly, ive picked her up a few times and she does'nt mind this, though i do think she will have to be trained to go the loo outside and shes not keen to walk on the lead, i will be asking my vet to check her over for me, the breeder said she got her and her brother off a friend when they were 15 months old, Missy is now 4 1/2  i dont know if she still has her brother, i will keep you all posted as to how we get on, it just feels like im looking after her for someone at the moment but im sure that feeling will go soon, oh and after ive given her a bath and stripped her, she'll look a million dollars, thanks for all your support, i realy do appreciate it and to say you did make a hard decision a little easier, thank you, xxxx

I hope you have a long and happy life together, she is lucky to have found you.
All the best to you both.

   Sorting out Missy`s hygiene and happiness will be a big help to you at this time,and I think that as she has not enjoyed home comforts and TLC in her previous home,she will really appreciate her new home all the more,and very quickly become bonded to you,which will be a big comfort as you come to terms with your loss.Well done you for having the strength to go ahead and help her,now she will help you in return.Best of Luck.

Good luck and all the very best to both of you, she is a very lucky girl to have found you. It will not be long before you are both best of friends. Look forward to hearing how you both get on.

Thank you for your kind regards, i will certainly keep you up to date, xxx

Good luck with her, it sounds like she is a lucky girl to have found you.

i also keep thinking my Gypsy may be a bit put out with me if i do take another,

I was disturbed when a friend announced a new girlfriend who then became his wife in what seemed to be a short time after the death of his first wife.  I did some research on grief on the internet and read that people who have a great love for their partner (as I have absolutely no doubt he did for his first wife) are often the ones who remarry early.  A close, loving, caring relationship was said to be needed by them and they try to repeat it.  It can even be viewed as a tribute to their first marriage, that it was so wonderful they need to have another person in their lives.  Not as a replacement but as another person they can share their abounding need to give love with. 

If you are ready I'd like to think your Gypsy would approve and take it as a tribute of your love for her.

Morning - how lovely that it has turned out so well.   Wish you all the best with your new companion and I am sure that she has really landed on her feet, have a good life together.

Hi well done you for giving this little girl a chance. Take things slowly with her and I'm sure she will settle with you.Training her to go to the loo outside should be fairly easy,just treat her like a puppy and she'll soon catch on whats right. Walking on the lead, again you should be able to sort out,lots of praise and treats are order of the day. Good luck with her.

I hope it all goes well with you and Missy, its good that she is not 'perfect' in a way as you know she is not your Gypsy and you will create a new bond with her as you both learn about each other. I'm sure you will enjoy teaching her and improving her hygiene! :-) I hope you have many happy years together.

Marion

Hi all, Just a update of day 1, Missy was a good girl last night, she did a wee on the paper i put down in the kitchen for her, when i took her out she did her other business to which i made a fuss of her, i took her for a walk along the canal which runs at the side of my house, lots of sniffing going on and she was ok, a bit weary of passing people but no barking at them, then we tackled the smell issue, i gave her a bath, she was excellent she just stood and let me wash her then shower her off, no problem, though she's still a bit wiffy i think it will take time to get rid of the smelly coat, she had her tea then we went into the garden she did her business and is now asleep at the side of me, she realy is a good girl considering she has been kept in kennels with bigger dogs, and the vet called me today, i can go and collect my Gypsy tomorow and bring her home, which will be very sad but i will always have her with me now and she can keep her eye on missy, im sure she would have mothered her had she been here, will keep updates coming and thanx for all your kind words, xxx

Good news indeed!   Missie will never take the place in your heart of your Gypsy (we've had a Missie and a Gypsy in our family too) - but she can fill that space - and its the best tribute you can give Gypsy is to fill that space with a girl that needs a home.

{{hugs}}
Margot

Although you will be upset bringing your Gypsy home, it isn't wrong to cry and grieve.  I am so glad that you have someone to cuddle, and help you.  If you are a dog person, we need the comfort that we get, just from having them around.

Good Luck to you and Missy.  {{{{  HUGS  }}}}

Ditto some of us could not bear an empty place, its great that Missy has a forever home and you have a new friend, not a replacement, a new friend that needs your love and you obviously need hers. Bless!!

> it just feels like im looking after her for someone at the moment but im sure that feeling will go

Yes it will go :)

The first dog my husband & I got together was a 4 year old dog from the local shelter. It felt very strange for a little while, like he was somebody elses dog, but once you get to know them better and they come out of thier shell as they get to know you, it will be like you've had her forever :)

I'm so sorry for your loss of Gypsy. Allthough Missy will never be able to replace Gypsy, having her to look after and give your love to should help you look forward during this horrible time of loss. Before long, Missy will have carved her own place in your heart, right next to Gypsys' place.

xx