
Thanks everyone!
Karen - no she hasn't always been like this. As a puppy she was mostly terrified of all dogs, having been overwhelmed by the size and clumsiness of the puppies at puppy class. We did have another adult patterdale bitch in our house when Nellie was a pup - we've moved away from there now - and she played very roughly with her. Otherwise she was very nervous of any dogs that approached, until the day a 13 week old lab bowled over to her in the park - she went absolutely mad at him, kocked him over and stood on his little chest snarling at him. She was a very bad-tempered puppy!
She had one or two incidents where she got a bit stroppy with other dogs, and she flattened a jack russell once, but otherwise there didn't seem to be a pattern.
She had her first season at exactly a year old, and was sweetness and light with all dogs during her season, haha. She was spayed three months later, and the week after she had her stitches out she was lovely - she waggled up to all dogs and wanted to play, regardless of size. I thought we'd struck gold in having her spayed!
And then suddenly - she would have been 16 months old - she just turned nasty. She bullied one small dog after the other, knocking over some poor little dog minding his own business on his lead once, until I felt unable to take the risk of letting her greet any (where she had been unpredictable before, now she was guaranteed to be horrid).
At the same time, her other training went out of the window (her recall became unreliable, she barked at strangers in the street or ran towards them barking if off the lead, and she chased some ponies about half a mile across dartmoor :(), so I agree that it could be more likely to be her adolescence, rather than the spay as such.
With bigger dogs, yes she is nervous at first, but is usually the first to diffuse her own fear by instigating a game. She always gets them to chase her, and will play for ages quite happily. She can, however, lose her rag if the other dog gets too rough.
I have seen her play or greet nicely a couple of elderly small dogs - there is an ancient JRT and a king charles around here, she plays with one and is nice to the other. But she used to play witha pair of Westies, now I can't trust her not to attack them.
I've had some success with "desensitisation" to other dogs she spies on the lead in the distance/across the road etc - she went through a spell of barking and lunging like crazy, but I have stopped that by offering her loads of treats to distract as we pass. She is much better now and rarely barks unless already wound up about something else.
Its not so much the presence of the dog thats a problem, I can distarct her reasonably easily - but if its in range, its small and she thinks she will win, she will blatantly go straight into attack. If there is a bigger dog a distance away, she is interested and might lunge, but if it comes in for a sniff she behaves in a very submissive way. I'd say she was definitely intimidated and very insecure/fearful.