Hi,

I have been with my current chap for a few months, we both feel the same and i know "he's the one" (some of you may have read my message a few weeks ago :-) )
He has his own 3 bedroom house and i have been spending a fair bit of my time up there already. He has a 7 year old daughter that he has at weekends and we were very careful introducing Fred and his little girl but they have become the best of friends. Sooo cute. We spend a lot of time at the weekend taking the dog for nice walks and while at his house Freddie has his own bowl/bed/toys etc.
The slight (and annoying) problem is while we are at my chaps house Freddie doesnt seem to settle and i end up having to bring him home to my house and go back to my BF's without him. I dont know what to do. At home Freddie will wander around, have a play with his toys, come to me for a cuddle and then settle down either on the sofa or carpet or in his bed and go to sleep - the normal stuff that all dogs do! At my boyfriends he just doesnt do that. He doesnt seem able to relax.
I dont know what to do to get him to chill and settle?!!

Second question - i want to take Freddie with me to stay over at my chaps instead of leaving him at home with my parents but am really stuck with how to do it. At home Freddie has his basket in the kitchen and at night, the door is shut and he remains in the kitchen to sleep. However, my boyfriends house is more open plan and im not sure that would be possible. He suggested we take Freds bed up onto the landing and he sleep outside our room but i think Freddie will just whine as its too different from our routine at home and will want to come in the bedroom. I DO NOT want that to happen. I am fine with Freddie coming into my room in the morning for a cuddle but do not want him in there all night - especially with my boyfriend - if you get what i mean :-O Is it worth us putting up a baby gate so Freddie remains in the kitchen as he does at home?!

I really want to get this right so Freddei is comfortable spending the odd night at my BF's and then building up so that its not a huge shock when Freddie and I go to live there permenantly.

Thanks for your help in advance. :-)

Can you put a baby gate across the kitchen opening?  If you were going away for the weekend or taking him for a weeks' holiday he would HAVE to settle and you couldn't take him home!  If you stay and keep him with you, he'll also settle after the first weekend.  At the moment, he's just waiting for you to take him home. :)

I moved in with my OH 6 months ago and the dogs have never been more settled in their 3.5 year life.  They are the exact same breed as Freddie and I know how manipulative the little beasts can be ;-)  Trust me when I say: they are clever and will make the best of any situation, they will make it work for them.  They have now become my OH's dogs (unless they want fed! Typical men!) and will run to him and sit at his feet when he walks in the door.  The difference in our situations is that it is your chaps house, he has already been established there (we walked into completely new territory).  Also, Freddie is used to your folks so misses them when he is not with them, he has to recognise your chaps house as "Fred's Home".  You should bring his bed over with you and be vigilant, get him into a strict routine to help him adjust ie sleeping downstairs.  My dogs had free reign in my flat yet they are now limited to the downstairs in the house.

Me and my OH knew we were "the one" but it was 3.5 years for us to get a house together.  Best thing that ever happened!

Sorry, reread your post.  The boys have the whole of the downstairs to sleep (it is pretty open plan).  I am sure Freddie will adjust so long as you keep up with the new routine, whatever it may be.  He will settle :-)  You have to settle too though, you can't worry about him!

Hi Freds Mum,

Firstly I'm glad things are going well with your man, and hope they continue to do so!

I would take Freddies basket with you next time you are staying at your man's house, and take his toys with him too so he feels at home. If it is possible to put a baby gate in the kitchen so that he is in there at night, I would do that and leave him in there for the night - he might not like it at first, but he will get used to it. I'd try and stick to the routine that you have with him at home - ie letting him out at the same time as you do at home, walks and food at the same time. I'm sure he will settle in time. :-) 

Hi freds mum if you carry on like this you may have to change your slogan (lol)

Thanks all, you've told me what i knew anyway i think but just wanted some reassurance!! I'm sure he will be fine and will adjust, its just time and perserverance. Im determined that we wont get into bad habits now which is why i still think Fred should remain downstairs as he does at the moment and leave us to have time together. No doubt he will try his luck (Fred not my BF!) but i will be strong.

Hehe, I may have to change my slogan!!!! Although my chap is an exception, for most men i would still rather have the doggies :-)

Well congratulations Freds Mum, such a nice story especially with all the doom & gloom around.  I'm sure with time Fred will adjust, he probably just needs time & reassurance from his mum you're not going to leave him! How about when you're there (if you haven't moved in already) do fun things with Fred so that when you go there he's excited about the fun stuff that generally happens & not worrying about being away from home.  It will take him time to adjust to new surroundings & find out what are his boundaries but I've found dogs are very resilient & as long as they're being fed, walked, loved & played with, they're happy chappies!!  I'm sure it will help that Fred gets on so well with his new extended family too!

I wish you a lifetime of happiness with your BF...maybe we'll be hearing the tinkle of wedding bells soon....congratulations again!  Hope to hear of happy stories from you aftwr you move...x

Thank you very much :-) So far we have had lots of positive experiences and Fred has been welcomed into their family as my chap and his daughters have been welcomed into mine. Quite funny really - him and his kids are a package as Freddie and I are too!!
I am very careful not to allow his little girl (aged 7) to hassle him too much, and have shown her how to make him sit, retrieve and play nicely as i dont want Freddie to think becuase she is little he can get away with murder with her. So far, she is doing fantastically and is picking up training techniques better than me :-)
It is so cute to watch them doing things together. So far, it is really working out well. I am sure in time Freddie will settle enough and overnight will be as well behaved and good as gold as he is at home.

Again, thanks for the help and congratualtions.
x