A friend has asked for some advice and as I am unsure so I thought I would ask you all for help :-)

Last weekend her 4 year old son was bitten (unprovoked) by the dog living next dog, badly on the chest. He is having dressing changes every day at the moment although it is slowly starting to heal. Without going into all the whys and wherefore's, the dog was put to sleep even before they came back from the hospital.

The problem now is that the child refuses point blank to walk or go anywhere where they are dogs. This includes his Grandma's (she has a 4 month old Bernese Mountain dog puppy) and he stays there some days while my friend is at work.
She is wondering what is the best way to handle this situation as she wants to get it right rather than cause him to have long term fear and be distressed but doesn't know what to do.

Any constructive comments or ideas would be gratefully recieved and passed on !!

Thanks,
Gabrielle x

This really needs sorted before it becomes a major problem for him. Could his grandma not bring her dog to visit him at his own house? That way he will meet a dog he knows well, but in his own safe area. Once he gets over his initial fear it will be easier to take him out.

He has had a very bad fright, so it's only natural for him to be scared. BUT he is young enough to overcome it, with help.

I honestly have no experience of this, but agree this needs to be sorted asap.

I would be a bit hesitant of starting with a puppy though, they can be mouthy and excitable at that age, so would not give him confidence.  I'm not sure they would help, but in your shoes, I may contact PAT to see if there were any local PAT dogs whose owners would help.  Preferably a very steady, small dog to start with.

Hi, I think Jens idea with the PAT dogs is great. I agree though, don't think it would be wise to start out introducing the little boy to an energetic puppy but perhaps taking him to Grandmas and having the puppy securely placed in a crate, he could gradually build up to having Grandma's do around him on a lead etc etc... Have you any idea how often and for how long he is at Grandma's while mum is working? I imagine a crate for the puppy would be a godsend for Grandma when dealing with her Grandson's anxiety - by no means am I saying she should lock the puppy away all of the time Grandson is there but for those moments where she cannot fully supervise ie, nipping to the loo or sorting washing etc...

Having been bitten myself as a child on the face when I was 3yrs I am 50 this year and still remember it.
Personally I wouldnt start shoving dogs in his face while he is still being treated for the wound as everytime they have to dress it it brings back memories as why it is happening.
I would wait until it starts to heal and he is getting back to his everyday things because at present all he is probably thinking about is the incident with the dog.
I would start gently showing pics of dogs happy pics where they are playing etc you could maybe find a pat dog someone with a very friendly laid back dog who you can introduce slowly , it wont be a quick fix remember he may well fear dogs for the rest of his life and who could blame him ,it took me until I was a teenager and people were really surprised when I got my own dog and am now a breeder but this also helps me by breeding dogs for temperament above all else , I still have some fears of other peoples dogs on occasion even now.

Roni

I used to have PAT dogs(when they were still part of Pro Dogs)& helped a few dog phobic children starting with a cavalier & gradually working up(sizewise)to GSDs It is a very slow progress & must be undertaken at the child's pace. Breeds like Cavaliers are great as a starter dog as they look quite non doggy having shorter muzzles & eye placement similar to humans.

> Personally I wouldnt start shoving dogs in his face while he is still being treated for the wound as everytime they have to dress it it brings back memories as why it is happening.
>

That sounds like very good advise.  Poor little mite.

Nice slow and steady is the way forward, get him used to seeing his nans puppy again who you know is good so its all positive with no mishaps and slowly he should get his confidence back.

I found its really good to relate to kids through their heroes for example:
My nephew was bitten by a dog, not badly but it was enough to scare him off dogs of course as he was young, so I helped him by saying that his favourite person in the world Steve Erwin (RIP XX) had been bitten by loads of crocs, but that didnt stop him geting back in with his crocs and having a good time!!
He felt brave beoing called Erwin 2 and got over his fear  and now loves dogs and my bro has even got a 2nd mastiff, so all is better and cured for now.

Just a idea to use as it works with us :)

This child has had an absolutely terifying experience with a dog. I would imagine that the last thing the child wants to see is a dog, and that to have his parents trying to expose him to a dog, even a PAT dog could potentially have disastrous results if done too early and handled badly.. As a child I had a similar experience and it was made much worse by people trying to expose me to their nice dogs. I remember crying and wetting myself, on one occasion out of fear ( I was nine). Those that did this were well meaning, but saying things like "there is nothing to be scared of" had no effect on my fear. It made my fear of dogs much worse, and I believe it prolonged it. I feel sick thinking about the way it was done, and the terrible fear and the humiliation of weeing myself in front of people. I remember desperately trying to lock myself in my bedroom whils my parents invited all and sundry people with dogs to our house to "cure me" and being forced downstairs and having my hand forced on the dogs head. To this day it affects my relationship with my parents for forcing me to do this. My parents just thought they were doing the right thing, and had no idea of the fear I was experiencing.

I feel it is FAR too early to be addressing this issue...its only been a week. I feel this reflects that the parents have not grasped the importance of allowing the child some time to spontaneously get over this. Forcing the issue too early is likely to make things worse. I would suggest allowing the child several weeks to get over this before trying to make more progress. When the childs physical would has healed, and the child is no longer requiring dressings etc, he may well be more ready to move on and progress with other dogs. I am aware that his childcare is at a house with a dog, but other arrangements will have to be made. 
If the child after a few weeks continues to show significant anxiety then the parents should take advice from a child psychologist as to how to begin to introduce dogs, and more importantly how to behave if the child is distressed.

We always worked with the child's medical people & I would think that current PAT dogs are still used in the same way & not simply taken to the child

I feel this reflects that the parents have not grasped the importance of allowing the child some time to spontaneously get over this.
They have fully grasped the importance of the situation, hence why I asked for some 'constructive' advice as they desperately want to get it right for their sons sake...

I am aware that his childcare is at a house with a dog, but other arrangements will have to be made.
If only life was that simple Pinklillies..... Her mum is the only person that her son has ever been left with and they have no other family..... what do you suggest she does with him, bearing in mind her husband works away and she sometimes has to do 14 hour shifts as a nurse ??

Thank you to everyone else for your kind words in helping out and if anyone has any other words of wisdom they will be gratefully recieved.
Gabrielle x

I guess that this little boy can be helped to overcome his fear in the same way as people on here would advocate a dog getting over its fear.
First of all seeing dogs interacting with other people at a distance, gradually getting closer until he is ready to try to touch one. Always backing up gently if he starts to get panicky.
This could be the pup he already knows is ok, or maybe trained PAT dogs could be used. But nothing too sudden.
Perhaps when he stays at Grandma's for a while, the pup could be kept in another room, and then when he is less scared just behind a baby gate so it doesn't rush up to him and scare him again.

For the immediate future how about a dog gate to keep the puppy away from the child. As it's not a crate the pup can stay in its area long term and the child can stay safely away from it. Her mom could keep a watch on both of them as she can see through the gate. I have a Lindham that I bought at Argos for around 30 pounds.

Could the child's doctor recommend a counsellor to help. As pinklillies said, handling this the wrong way could have terrible consequences. A professional may be able to help come up with solutions to the problems of this particular family - the proximity of a dog with the child's caretaker. As puppies do mouth and it's a big puppy I'd definitely keep them separate.

Thanks Lori,
                The puppy is kept away from the child at the moment with a tall baby gate and she has her own crate which has always been the norm but she would come and say hello to the child at points throughout the day and him and 'Grandma' would take her for a walk.
My friend knows that handled the wrong way, this situation could end up dreadfully and is going to speak to her GP. I just said I would ask on here, as so often good advice is given out.
Thanks once again for all the advice, it really is much appreciated.

Gabrielle

I was bit as a child by an Afgan Hound ( found out it was due to distemper but he bit & dragged me round by my ankle & bit mum & Dad too) over 30 years ago and i have to admit that when i see one now i tense up (great fun at the shows-------not!) Im ok with other dogs just not the breed that bit me. Things will have to be taken slow and 1 day at a time to prevent long term problems

Gabrielle, how would the parents feel about accessing something like hypnotherapy where the trauma of the situation could be resolved in the wee boy's head and then maybe move onto a therapy dog to get him used to them in a positive way.  I would imagine that if the dog next door had generally been good with him then turned (rather than always being a bit grumpy) then he will have an association that even nice dogs go bad.  the GP might refer him to psychiatric or psychological services for support in light of any post event trauma he is experiencing.

Hi Cheekychow,
                    I think my friend will be happy to use any service or access anything that will help this situation. She is just 'desperate' to get it right and not unknowingly make the situation worse by doing the wrong thing.
The dog next door had always been fine with him before this distressing incident.

Many thanks,
Gabrielle

There was a child last year who was badly bitten, once they had done initial therapy to start getting over it, and when the medical people advised the time was right, they actually got him a dog (a breeder in my breed donated a puppy) which really helped him a lot. Obviously this was all done with much care and thought for timing. :-)

I just had a thought for short-term emergency measures if the child is to frightened to be in the same house, even behind a dog gate. Doggy day care either with a centre or if the puppy's breeder is near with them. If it's only a few days a week that wouldn't be so bad. Or the breeder may be able to take the puppy for a week or so just until they can find a way to manage the situation.

Hopefull he'll feel secure enough at his gran's if the pup is behind the dog gate.

I suppose it is just knowing what the best route to go down.  I would suggest looking up the yellow pages under therapy and phoning round a few places asking what they would suggest in this situation and then do a spot of googling about particular therapies etc before making a decision.  Really hope it all works out ok and he gets over his fear.  It is a horrible one to have to carry through life, especially as it was a 'good dog turned bad' rather than a dog that was known to be aggressive to him or others.

I felt that my advice was pretty constructive gabrielle. I suggested getting professional advice if you remember, so i do not think that could be considered unconstructive.

When I said that other arrangements would have to be made,it was not meant to be taken as criticism. I will be more specific.  There are several options available here:
1. The child can be returned to the carer and be exposed to the puppy without consideration of the childs fear...and I think most have stated that this is not a good idea.
2. The child can be returned to the carer and the child and the pup be totally segregated for the time being, with gradual contact being introduced. This has a few implications re the training and socialisation of the pup. It also puts a huge responsibility on the childs carer in terms of having the responsibility of getting this child used to dogs again, without the parents being present.
3. The carer may wish to rehome the pup ( again i am not recommending this, merely stating that it IS an option)
4. Alternative childcare MAY be an alternative...as a nurse, the mum will have access to a NHS nursery, and there are private nurseries available. ( I am not saying that it is necessarily the right thing in this case, as none of us know the family circumstances, and care is expensive)

In this situation, the individuals concerned need to reflect on the needs of all the parties. If the carer feels that the separation of dog and child is not feasible, and the child is terrified of the dog, then clearly the child cannot be cared for by this carer, however ideal it is that this happens. It is very bad luck that this has happened, and interferes with existing satisfactory childcare arrangments, however bad luck happens. Equally in other circumstances the carer could have become too ill to care for the child, suffered a disabilty, or even died....and your friend would then also be forced to make alternative arrangements. This kind of childcare cannot be guaranteed.

I still maintain that the childs fears should take absolute precedence over the need for childcare. To be honest, in her position as a nurse, I would be sorely tempted to get signed off sick to care for the child myself in the interim until the appropriate course of action is decided.