I have just had to ring to tell one of our new puppy owners they can't have the puppy, and I feel absolutely dreadful about it. They travelled 4 hours just to see him last Sunday, which makes it worse.

I had along chat with the lady on the phone several times and she seemed nice. She did have a two year old, and although I told her this caused me to have reservations, I don't automatically rule homes with children out, as I have three children myself, the youngest being 3. She told me she worked two days a week, but that her Mum came to look after her son those days, so would look after the puppy aswell.

Anyway, when they arrived on Sunday, we were chatting, and then she asked if the pup would be OK on his own for two days a week, from 8-6 if her husband came home at lunchtimes, as her little boy went to her Mum's on the days she worked. I said absolutely not, that the pup would fret, be miserable, impossible to toilet train etc. She then said that she could take the pup to her Mums with her little boy, and she would crate train him. I said it wasn't idewal, but might be acceptable if done carefully.

Anyway, having thought about it, the fact that they lied ot me int he first place and actually thought it would be OK to leave a puppy for that long has alarm bells ringing loud and clear. They were lovely people, but I would worry if a pup went to them. The woman was really quiet when I rang though, and I just feel absolutely terrible and mean.

I totally agree with what you have done... i have 2 dogs, a black Lab called Layner who is 2 years old and a GSD puppy Called Zeus who is 11 weeks old... Puppies need some one with them all the time to toilet train and feed them through out the day and to give them lots of love and attention. ( this is only my personal opinion) My Black Lab Layner is not a dog that can be left on her own even at 2 years old as she has a tendancy to get up to no good,  one of the things she likes to do is to  empty the kitchen bin and leave the contents in the middle of the living room floor. ( i think we have now managed to get a Layner proof bin but only time will tell...lol)
Getting a puppy is a big descion which shouldn't be taken lightly and if you didn't feel comfortable letting your puppy go with these people i think you have made the right descion.. so don't feel so bad as  i think you have done the right thing
Sally

You've done the right thing Jackson,

Fact is how can you ever be sure that the pup would even get taken to the mothers anyway, once your pup is purchased and in their posession they can do what they darn well please, and toilet training etc from a crate :-( the only time you can protect your pup is before you sell it!

Instincts and little niggles need to be paid attention to, puppies need all the time, training and socialising in that first year, it is sooooo.... important, babies and toddlers take that attention away even to those with the best intentions, and pups going to homes with toddlers are likely to be the first to be returned, with the "I didn't realise what hard work they were, I couldn't cope," scenario's. ;-)

Find your pup a home if you can with someone home or away for no longer than a couple of hours a day for the first 6 months of your pups life and prefereably without the distraction of a young child to give it the best start in life. :-)

I agree too.  The welfare of your pups comes first.

Sarah.

I have sold to full time working people, but like you I've also had little niggles with people where something just doesn't feel right and had to tell them that I didn't feel that they were suitable for the breed or a pup.

Well done to you for being brave enough to do this.

You have done the right thing there definately! 
If they have young children they would have to put a lot of effort and time in, which I would have thought was difficult to do with young children mithering as well as a puppy.
And I certainly dont agree with a puppy being left all day long on its own, no way

I know how you feel as i have had to do this in the past, not nice but you have done the right thing definately. Imagine how you would feel if you let them have the pup, it would play on your mind constantly. Well done for being a responsible breeder.

Jackson,

You are to be applauded for your decision especially since I believe this is your first litter. Gut instinct is a powerful tool in dog breeding. Im so glad you didn't succumb to the pressure to panic and accept a 'nearly good enough' buyer.

You have to do what you feel is best for your puppies, too many breeders let them go to anyone then the poor dog lands up in rescue just because no one took the time to consider the situation. We are at work all day but my parents live in a granny flat next door and the dogs can have company whenever they want, my dad walks them three times a day. This person may well have been telling the truth when she said she would take the pup to her mum's but the fact she asked makes it seem that her mum is maybe not too happy about it, understandable as a three year old is hard enough for granny to cope with, without having a puppy too. Did they bring Granny to see the puppy? With every dog we have had since my parents moved in, one or both my parents have gone to see the puppies with us, as my parents have so much involvement with our family and pets.  I've no doubt some other breeder will sell her a pup and it may or may not work out OK, but this way your conscience is clear.

its the only downside of puppies...sometimes you have to be tough on folk, and like most of us, sometimes you feel bad about it.....but at the end of the day the pups lifetiem welfare must come before the feelings of potential owners. I have had them come 2000 miles and be turned down!!!

Believe me you have done the right thing your pup with find the right home and you will be happier knowing the pup is with the right family.

I had a similar problem  refusing a family when they had lied to me. I didnt worry about it at all I was just relieved that my pup was still with me , I found him a wonderful home where I know he is adored and the family keep in touch with me.

I have done something similar, but in this case the people had a young dog of the same breed and there would have only been about a years difference.

The more I talked to them the moire I realised they had unrealistic ideas about what having two youngsters would be like.  They had visions of them being best of Friends etc, and they also treated the current pup like a baby and lacked firmness.

I have met them several times since at club events and they obviously were a bit too soft on their boy, and would no way have coped with two.  Interestingly, now 10 years later they still own just the one.  I did explain to them in such a way that they saw that I was doing them a favour.

This was only my third litter, and I think presented with the same situation now I would not ahve got as far as accepting them for a puppy.

I agree that when you have any niggles you should not sell your puppies and it shows that you have the right view when it comes to breeding but although i will be unpopular here i really disagree when people say about homes with toddlers, we came across breeders who were wary of letting us have a puppy because we have 2 young children but in the end we ended up with a wonderful boy who is given our attention and never just left! We mums at home can multitask and i don't agree that we have less time than people that work!

Our dog adores our children and i think its wonderful to grow up with animals and it would be such a shame if every breeder shared the view that young children and babies didn't mix

Yes there are some people who will find it too difficult raising a puppy but please don't tar us all with the same brush!

Thanks all. Yes, it is my first litter, and I am extremely fussy about where my pups go, so probably have quite a bit of turning down in the future if I breed again. I do feel awful for the family, I am sure they had the best intentions, but sadly that is not enough.

Angels2, I have young children myself, but am still wary of people with children myself, so I understand why other people are, especially when they don't have children themselves. Children and dogs can be a disaster, mainly as too many people ignore what the dog is telling them and expect the dog to fit in with them. As I said, I wouldn't rule out someone because they had children, especially if they had had other dogs succesfully in the past or had other animals, plus well behaved children, of course! After all, if they can't even get their children to behave when they speak the same language, what hope is there with a dog?!

Luckily all the other families live close by and are visiting 1-3 times aweek to see their pups. Hard work for me, but it means I can be as sure as possible, plus it shows their commitment.

It is very much the individual case.  I myself had my first dog when my daughter was toddler and on her death had my second when she was pre school and my son a toddler.  I have sold to families with young children, but have also had a pup come unstuck simply because it was too much for the Mum, she was rather a super Mum too (but the children were real live wires), and did lots of things with the children etc, and what had to give was the pups training (no time).

I have found the homes with tots that already have a dog or the people are from doggy backgrounds and have had dogs and are realistic about their needs and the time and work factor are no problem at all.

I would be very wary with a young family and a first time dog, though I was exactly that with my first canine.

I got Dicksy when Hannah my daughter was 10 and she has always been close to him.  Our granddaughter Beth was born in April 04 (got Dicksy September 03)  and they are inseparable, he used to sleep under her moses basket and even to this day when she is here they are always together.  Mind she is always supervised as much to protect him as to protect her as she's not the gentlest child in the world!  I think you have made the right decision based on your reservations so well done you, don't feel too bad as if it's not the ideal home life for the puppy then you wouldn't be happy and nor would the puppy x

Yes, it is my first litter, and I am extremely fussy about where my pups go

By doing what you did, you are building a good reputation.... priceless...

I think that was fine, though I'm only just about to go through the same thing myself. I have a couple who don't have children themselves, but have nephews and nieces who are young. I initially thought 'no', but they did say they used to have Shelties and Yorkies, so I'm thinking that would hopefully mean they know how to keep a small dog safe with young children. More questions will be asked if I get the right number of puppies for enquiries! :-D

don't get me wrong you must be fussy where your puppies go!

My eldest (3 years old) actually helped me working at our local animal shelter and has a big part in actually training our puppy! Not all parents of young children should be tarred with the same brush and whilst i am aware that our daughter is probably in the minority for how children behave around animals if our breeder hadn't let us have our boy because of their ages that would have been a great loss for us!

When I bought both my first two dogs I must have impressed the breeders with being able to cope with first child and very high input breed pup.

With the second dog (different breed) after first died I had become a single parent with toddler and pre schooler, but had kept my first canine through thick and thin which I think swayed things in my favour, and both the breeder and stud owner became my main mentors.

I think stickability is important, families that have had dogs and young children already and survived :D .
In the OP postition I didn't think that the young child was the issue, it was leaving the puppy alone. It sounded to me as though Granny's opinion hadn't been sought until after the event and she very understandably said NO! After all who wants someone elses puppy pooping and peeing all over their house, and trying to juggle toddlers and puppies is hardwork for mum, never mind Granny. I know my parents were exhausted looking after my second child, the first, five years earlier was fine but age takes its toll on us all and its a bit much to expect your parents to look after kids and puppies without making sure its OK first.
In this situation it very much is a case of judging each case individually, some people will cope happily with 3 under fives and a puppy, others couldn't look after a stuffed goldfish (even with no kids :D :D )

I think the age of the child/ren is not always the issue, you can have a 3 yr old who is used to dogs, a 10 yr old who has never lived with a dog, you can tell a mile off, and I know which I'd prefer a pup of mine went to.

As said before, the issue here is the time the pup would have to spend alone, pups need time and attention, house training etc.

You have made the right decision, I know we all have to start somewhere with dog ownership, but we have to make sure circumstances are right first.

Don't feel awful Jackson.  We've all had to do it.  I delivered a pup to a gentleman 14 months ago, as a favour, he didn't drive.  Never again, if you can't visit don't ask me for a pup!  He was a very well educated, well spoken person on the phone, and I had no way to know that he told pork pies.  I won't go into detail, as so many things were just not right.  But after realising that I was never going to leave my pup with him, I had a great opportunity to walk out!  As I put the tinned and dried puppy food on his kitchen table, he said he wasn't bothering with all that rubbish, and the dog would have to eat the same as him!  I tried to explain about the pups needs, but was told that it was his dog, and he'd do what he liked with it!  I told him to eat the b****y puppy food himself, and walked out with pup in my arms!  I had wasted nearly 7 hours of my time, and lord knows what in petrol, but I have no regrets whatsoever.  I would never have slept at night if I had left my adorable puppy there.

Jackson i completely agree with following your gut :) I also hate the  thought of someone getting a pup and then leaving it for hours at a time everyday.
But i cant help thinking what choice to some people have?What about the people who have to work,which is most people.Not everyone can work from home or do shift work etc. I'de say the vast majority  work normal day time hours.
I'm just throwing this out there,i dont work and if i bred probably wouldnt sell to a home where the owners worked full time days,but by doing this i would probably be cutting out 3/4 of prospective puppy buyers.

I am just thinking how hard it would be for breeders to find new homes with owners who dont work full time,or at least a few full days a week.And most stay at home young mum's i know will eventually be heading back to work.

Thing is owning a dog is not a right but a privilege if you can accommodate it's needs.  I would love to have horses, but I have neither the facilities, the knowledge or the finances.