I'm glad that you took the courage to overcome your expectations that everyone on here would condemn your actions and write them out anyway.  That took true courage and strength.  To read your last post, so positive, it made me give a little whoop for you.  It must have helped knowing that, in fact, we are all agreeing with you and just want you to be happy.  I really hope it will help you to get out of the clutches of that bully.  Read this thread every day.  Print it out if you have to but READ it.  This is the kind of support and love you should be receiving from your boyfriend, not a group of strangers you've never met. 

I cannot add anymore to what others have said about the impact your relationship is having on you and your need to escape it, but I can add another perspective.  My father was, and is, a bully.  He bullied my mum in a very similar manner to the way your BF bullies you.  When it escalated to violence she found her strength to eject him from her life but I was 15 by that point.  He used to bully my sister and myself and for years I had no self esteem or confidence.  I was unable to make friends at school and still have problems doing so now.  I was expected to be seen and not heard, a small thing that means that even now I cannot make chit-chat - a skill so many have that really does make life so much easier and I truly do envy - how do you make friends if you can't even chat to someone about the weather?  How do you build good relationships with your colleagues when you don't know how to ask them how their weekend went?  As a child I was never allowed to have friends round, I still cannot settle with other people in the house, even when my closest friends come over who I lived with for 2 years, I still can't relax until they leave, but I'm happy as a pig in mud around their house.  Now over 13 years later I still cannot say no to my father.  He still has an inexorable hold over me.  He can still bully me - and he still tries to do so although I do my best to stand up to him it's not always easy.

So please, if you cannot get out of your relationship for your sake, do it to spare your son from a bully's influence or your beloved boy could still be dealing with this in his 30's. 

Oh and I have one other thing I'd like to add.  You excuse and try to validate your boyfriends behaviour towards yourself as a hangup of his childhood, and that may well be the case.  But that does not give him the right to treat you like that.  Despite watching a bully in action for years (or maybe because of that) I wouldn't dream of treating my OH like that (nor would I take it).  I love him.  I love spending time in his company.  Each dayI look forward to when he gets home from work and smile when the dogs go nuts at his arrival, but the bit I look forward to the most?  His smile.  Because that means he is happy and if I am able to be the cause of that smile it makes me ecstatic.

I'm not sure if this has been said before but please think of your son in all this, he is going to grow up thinking this is an acceptable way of treating people, and may even try and treat his partner in the same way.
Your (soon to be ex) boyfreind has had a tough up bringing, the news for him is that, in one way or another, most of the people in the world have too, and only that person can change things, is that person. There has to be a time when they stop blaming others and the situation and take accountability for their actions.
I hope things go well for you, and if I ever get into a sticky situation im comming here, CHAMPDOGS people are THE BEST!!! XXXX

You have all helped me as well with problems with my son's. Champdoggers are real people with hopes, dreams, experiance and love.

Its not smoolshey Ive felt a real connection with people on here and Ive missed my fix since Ive been in hospital, but people on here are right. Dog in crate, boyfriend in trash - Simplezzz.

LurcherOwner - like many on this thread, I was there too with a man who was abusive on all 3 fronts - emotionally, mentally and physically.  What gave me the strength to leave was the sudden realisation that it was HE who was the weak one, because he had to resort to behaving like that to survive... (and yes, his mother was in the background also!  deep-seated problems in their relationship which I never got to the bottom of).  It was as though he had to use me as a stepping stone to stand on and push down in order to boost his own confidence, and the more he pushed me down and the lower I got, the higher his own confidence rose.

It was so-o hard to break up (and I had to physically leave a beaut home we'd worked hard/paid good dosh for to return to where I'd come from 200 miles away) but one of the reasons for that is that we get very comfortable with what we're familiar with, and leaving that comfort zone - however much a living nightmare it is on a daily basis, for the unknown, requires huge energy and strength.  And that energy and strength has often been drained out of us or squashed by the abusive partner, so it becomes a vicious circle ... I will say also that I had a feeling that if I didn't leave, I could end up as a murder victim...sorry, I know that'll sound shocking, but he was someone who tended to suppress his feelings only for them to seriously blow like a pressure cooker valve at a later time.  Eg he was incredibly polite to his mother to her face and seemed to others like a model son ...but in private to me, in the drive home after visits, he'd viciously vent off about how much he really hated her, and how she'd mucked up his life ...

HOWEVER - and here's the good news - for me at least, the absolute worst part of breaking up was making the decision to leave!!  After that, I felt nothing but wave after wave of relief, was able to start making the plans (which brought further relief) and it all became increasingly easy.  I've never ever once regretted that decision, which was about 23 years ago now.   

I was wondering how you were keeping, Whistler! Good to hear from you again, hope everything is heading back to normal/good health and that your other changes are going well :-) xx

Yes getting there 2 week in a back slab plaster, 4 weeks in a fiberglass type one, both non weight bearing, now in an aircast boot. The worse bit is not driving.  I also have a perspective on wobbly pavements and loo's you cant in - or out.

The bes bit has been cuddling up with Whis in a blanket when I was in pain and my OH was at work. I could not have coped with out him and a really close friend who would wash a floor when she would visit as she knew how much I like a clean home.

OH was great but his idea of housework is windowwashing not floors or loos!!

Good post Rafferty - making the break/ change is the hardest thing to do - I have never experienced anything like your situation but that bravery to make a change in your life goes for lots more things.  It is so much easier to stay as you are and make an excuse for not doing something.  People say to others who have achieved things in life and say 'oh you're lucky'  But it is making the most of one's luck and working hard at things that makes one richer in all things - happiness being the most important.