> I appreciate that I am the grown up here and she the child

Exactly and that is why, IMO, you have to put your foot down. Tell her that she can do what she wants when she is 18 - that is the compromise. If she still goes and does it anyway, then, when she is older and regrets it, she will only have herself to blame. She should still have respect for you - this isn't a silly 'you must be home by 8pm on a Saturday night thing'. This is really serious IMO :( If you give in on this, what will be next ?

Sorry to rant, but I just feel she is still a child and needs your protection from the silly things that teenagers do and regret later :(

> she is overseen by 2 brothers in there 20's and has a lovely lifestyle that probably makes her the envy of many of her friends

Sounds to me that her friends' parents say 'no' a bit more :(

Had a look, your right the 3mm is small and they are not anything horrendous no different in outward look to an ear stud. :-) Compared to a tattoo, or a larger one they are ok I guess.

My worry is if/when she has one she will get a good reaction from friends, family at how nice it is, it is what we do. :-) I guess even with a tattoo and that causes a good feeling, which leads to the question, will she need another fix? Will she 'need' something else, because often this isn't about ourselves but about the reactions from other people.

Which is why the items I mentioned above and others similar work so well, once the oooh's and ah's and looking at something and feeling good about it has worn off, in then choosing another one, it happens all over again and again and again, with jewellery and collection pieces it does no harm to the body, but you get the same fix. :-) It might hit the pocket :-D but it won't hit the image or the skin.

If you believe that one will be enough and she will be satisfied then the 3mm IMO is fine, but if you think it may lead on, well I would try and detract to something else and lead her away from this path completely.

At least until she is 18. :-)