>It is my mums birthday and she has said she wants a party.....sooooo it does look like we will be having a few friends over. My parents will be there so we'll see if she complains to them??

Make sure you invite the neighbours, and tell them when it's due to start and finish. :-) That gives them an opportunity to accept and make friends, or the fair notice will allow them even to go away if they want to.

By the way, if parties go on after midnight on a Saturday night complaints to the police will result in the party being ended ...

Tracey,

My next-door-neighbours 20 year old son decided to have an all night party when his parents were away, finally at 5am I had had enough and was about to call the police when my husband went round to complain, he had to knock on the door 4 times before they heard him. They hadn't even realised what the time was!!

That day I felt exactly the same as when I'd been kept up all night when my children were babies, not something I wanted to repeat 13 years later.

He was grown up enough to knock on our door and sheepishly apologise. I also found out he'd phoned his Mum to tell her how he'd upset us when she apologised for his behaviour

I'm not anti-parties, I've got party loving kids myself BUT you still have to show consideration to your neighbours and my lot know music stops at midnight.

I'm actually thinking I want you as a neighbour over who I have right now.. My frigging sister, and i'll swap a few late night parties over her any day of tghe week. She is a nasty piece of work

Hmm yeah because Im obviously so immature?!

> Hmm yeah because Im obviously so immature?!

If you start a topic about neighbours with a title like this you are going to get divided opinion.  As readers we only have your views, and your account of the events - we are mixed ages, with varied experiences of neighbours:  you really cannot expect us all to agree with you?!

Would I want you as a neighbour?  Not really
Do I want your neighbours?  Probably not

Whatever the truth of the situation you don't want to get complaints and they probably don't want to have to make them - try and talk to them about the issues and agree some compromises such as when to quiet down :)

But why does this make me immature? Thats a very disrespectful comment - Im not 15!

Everything I have done post events havent made me in any way immature. Ive made a few flippant comments but have done no action towards my neighbours, it is them that went running to my dad. If theyd have text me on the night in question then I would have understood, but Im actually wondering if it wasnt us they heard at all!

> but Im actually wondering if it wasnt us they heard at all!

Back to coincidence then! :)

I would have busted a cap through the wall if you woke me at 4:00 in the morning.

I would have busted a cap through the wall if you woke me at 4:00 in the morning

Great, now we have the voice of freedom with us--lucky for you Tracey123 that you don't have Odie for a neighbour. A gun solves everything for him. Which bye law in your neighbourhood allows you to "bust a cap through the wall" Odie?

I don't know Jay 15, reckon they may well make perfect neighbours.

LOL odie, we could have a banging party! :-D

Goldmali I do envy you...Big sigh!! Ho Hum!! Myabe when we've sold we'll be lucky enough to find somewhere like that. And sorry can't remember who said but neighbour is the worst word ever,you are completely right.

This isthe seocnd timewe have moveddue to neighbours in nearly 20 years.So i aksed myselfif it was me out of order and being a killjoy.The last neighbour did get run over though as he was so drunk he stepped out intothe road on xmas eve, he was an alcoholic who would invite people back and play itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini at say 2.30 am until whenever. Or he would watch cowboy films turned right up till the morning when his wife a nurse came back from night shift and then the rows would start. Joyous couple, they are now divorced, shame of it wasthe young lad trying to grow up between them.

They're on holiday at the mo and it's blissful!! Wonderful!! I just need about 10 acres with a house in the middle.....keep playing the numbers!!

Sounds like our old neighbours hhg, they used to have screaming arguments at all hours of the day and night, and they had 2 small children, poor kids. We used to hear the adults shouting, then the kids would start wailing, and the mum would shriek at them to shut up - lovely! Funny thing is we had to pop round once or twice if a package got delivered, and she was perfectly nice and normal sounding with us. We have now got a lovely detached house, the only noise we ever hear is our new neighbour playing out front with his giant remote control airplane, which we love watching! :-)

Just though't i'd join to point out a few things that Trace has missed out (i'm Traceys partner), the night in question when the neighbour phoned Tracey at around 4am whilst she was asleep was not due to music "blasting out" all night or some sort of massive rave, there was four people still sat in the back garden chatting around the firepit after everyone else had left hours before, and one of them started playing music on an iPod so it was hardly blasting out, this was turned back off straight away when Tracey phoned me and said the neighbour complained.

The BBQ that was had a few weeks later was pretty quiet from memory, i have no recollection of anything being said, in fact i'm pretty sure everyone but about 3-4 people had either gone home by Midnight or were asleep, Tracey included. I'm not even sure the neighbours were in because we didn't see them at all.

The early hours of Sunday morning they actually told her dad over the phone that we were running round the house screaming, shouting and slamming doors from 12am, yet we didn't get home until 3:08am as can be seen on our CCTV which is timestamped, i was tempted to go and send them a copy of the video so they can see for themselves they were talking rubbish. And of the 9 people that were "crammed" into the house 3 of them went straight to bed. There was a little bit of noise outside for a minute or two when we first got out of the minibus as my friend was having a rant that someone had vandalised his car. (again the CCTV shows that there were 5 kids outside at 12:20am who ripped his wing mirror off for a laugh, maybe they were noisy?).

It's not just the complaint about the noise, we've also had her come around once and complain about me leaving for work in a morning a couple of years ago when I used to do normal shifts saying that I pulled off the drive too close to their drive and I could have driven into her husbands car if he was pulling out or run her daughter over if she had ran in front of me? I mean WTF? If her young daughter ran out of their gate onto the A60 at 7am she'd not last very long and I also didn't go within 6 feet of the end of their driveway. I personally just believe that she's one of the types that likes to complain about everything as we never hear anything from her husband.

Tracey has also failed to mention that whilst i've been on permanent lates doing 40+ hours a week with a 26 mile commute either end for the last 18 months that on numerous occasions they've decided to start doing DIY before 8am or start hoovering meaning I get to go to work the next day on about 4 hours sleep whilst they get to spend the rest of the day chilling on taxpayers money as none of them work, how many times have I gone round and moaned at them for waking me up? Zero!

So to date we've made some noise ONCE this year, when someone disturbed the woman from her beauty sleep with an iPod playing music for a few minutes meaning that she might have been a little tired the next day whilst she was doing whatever someone who has not had a job for at least 5 years does with themselves during the day. Yet she now wants to start blaming us for stuff that has nothing to do with us. Traceys Dad also knows that it was nothing to do with us as he was driving the minibus that brought us home, so he corrected her straight away.

Not sure that the 'facts' what ever they have any importance in this, it is the title that says it all - at the very least a very aggressive uncaring attitude towards others.

on numerous occasions they've decided to start doing DIY before 8am or start hoovering

Which they are within their rights to do -it is not night. A local farmer here asked us to keep the dogs quiet from 10 pm to 6 am so I looked up the law and it states the hours classified as night hours, when neighbours have to be quiet, are 11 pm to 7 am.

http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1996/37/section/2

Just because something is legal does not mean it isn't being inconsiderate or unreasonable. We've disturbed them once, they have effectively had me up what for me is as good as the middle of the night on probably more than 20 occasions this year. They know full well that i work late. Because of what the law states does that mean it would be acceptable to start putting shelves up and drilling into the walls at 10:40pm when i know they put their daughter to bed at 8? It might be legal but it would be pretty stupid.

The thing is iamzod and Tracey, none of us live next door to your neighbours so we don't really know how bad/or otherwise they are when we comment.  The best thing is though, if you can, try to keep the peace as it is you who have to live next door to them and they could possibly make your lives Hell.  Have you any other neighbours?  If so, are your neighbours the same with them? I can fully accept that you cannot please some people..........

the only noise we ever hear is our new neighbour playing out front with his giant remote control airplane, which we love watching!

Which only goes to show that one man's Mede is another man's Persian...our village had a 20+ year battle raging with modeller aircraft folk who wanted to fly their planes on the big field at the top, owned by the parish council with several all purpose pitches. You'd think they could all have accommodated each other, but no. The letters in the local press, the endless dreary articles pointing out the anti-social nature of the other's hobby and petitions show that in the end we are not much different from overcrowded rats. 

Just because something is legal does not mean it isn't being inconsiderate or unreasonable.

No but you can never please EVERYONE as in that case you'd never be able to do anything as some people will work nights and sleep during the day. But you can stick to the law.

The best thing is though, if you can, try to keep the peace as it is you who have to live next door to them and they could possibly make your lives Hell.  Have you any other neighbours?  If so, are your neighbours the same with them? I can fully accept that you cannot please some people..........

Hi Oldilocks, we have done so many things to keep the peace you wouldnt believe. I let them use my garden when cutting their trees as they hang over our side, stopped driving off their front because they didnt like it, threw back endless amounts of balls that their kid threw over, had scaffolding round my house while they had their roof done (they were lovely to us before having the roof done as they needed our permission!) asked friends not to park on the front of their house and we have turned the music down before 11pm when they have asked. I have actually asked if they've heard us after a party and they always said 'no'. 

We do have neighbours the other side but they are seperated by a lane and apart from hearing the old man and son arguing once I never really see them. I saw one of my neighbours a few doors up yesterday and said I was having problems with them and she gave me a look that indicated it wasnt a surprise so Im wondering if they have complained about others also.

OK, so your last comment was a bit immature but...are you not allowed a life??  I can understand your neighbours if this was a frequent thing but twice in one year? Nah, she's at it.  I've had parties in my house with karaoke and I've had outdoor bbqs too over the year.  Probably 2 bbqs and 1 party(that's lasted into the night).  I would tell my neighbour where to get off if she complained.  I don't run round to her door when her child wakes at 6am every morning and screams her room down which is right next to mine.  I understand that this is probably a phase and she'll grow out it eventually same as I don't have parties every weekend.  I would turn down music but laughter and chat?  No way!  She could close her window after all. 2 parties, I think she can put up with that.  And I would've had my OHs party at my house!

And I know, none of you want me as a neighbour either but I don't care, doesn't sound like you lot are much fun anyway!!
Ps  Tracey, I want an invite!!lol.

Sounds to me as if you can't really win with your neighbours Tracey. :)

> And I know, none of you want me as a neighbour either but I don't care

If only you two were neighbours :)

Cracar...when their house goes up for sale Ill let ya know! We have some cracking parties!! :-D

Tracy I've read this whole thread and you are giving contradictory messages :(  

>We have some cracking parties!

Implies to me you have more parties than you previously admitted to, so maybe not the saint you'd like us to believe after all :(

I saw one of my neighbours a few doors up yesterday and said I was having problems with them and she gave me a look that indicated it wasnt a surprise

You could well be right, she could be surprised they haven't called the police!

When our NFH left, the woman who lived on the other side of the one suggested we have a street party to celebrate, it turned out that she had been suffering every bit as much a we had, but she had never said a word - even when I asked her about it!   they were afraid of making waves :(   There were others who also reacted in the same way and they hadn't said a word either, too scared of repercussions!

I think you forget that at least they telephoned you at 4 am and then the next occasion she telephoned your Father. She could well have telephoned the police. I am sure if you continue in the vein that might well be her next port of call.
As for the comment 'crammed' by your boyfriend it must be pointed out that that was the word you used to describe how many were in the house. Do you not realise that the fact that they telephoned you at 4 am means that you HAD woken them up with whatever noise you were making and obviously were keeping them awake. Same scenario when you woke them again at 3 am. You ARE disturbing their sleep whatever you care to believe.

They didnt ring me at 4am this time, thats the time they said they could hear us till but she also said it started at 12ish which it didnt.

Dill - you obviously dont get my humour! :-) I am indeed polishing my halo right now.

> she also said it started at 12ish which it didnt.
>

So we are still sticking with the coincidence theory on that one :)

I went to bed at midnight because I was ill and the neighbours rung me to say we needed to turn the music off. We did as it was 4 in the morning.

So she DID ring you at 4 am last time as I stated but complained about the 3 am to your Father  as I stated.

This time she rung my dad but didnt complain to us.

Last time she rung me (in April)

>Dill - you obviously dont get my humour!

I can only read what you've written ;)   And TBH I don't find it funny joking about making someone's life a misery, but then I was that someone for 10 years :(

>This time she rung my dad but didnt complain to us.

Maybe she felt speaking to you was a waste of time, she had already spoken to you about it in April and now you were doing it again?   

I was brought up "Do as you would be done by"   - In other words, give others the same respect and consideration you'd like for yourself.  If we all did that the world would be a far nicer place.

How am I making someones life a misery? Your making it sound as if Im playing my music excessively every night????

Do you not understand that I have not had a party since April BECAUSE OF THE NEIGHBOURS?!?!?!?!?!?!

I have changed my plans and my social life for the sake of them. I hardly think that makes me devil neighbour!

> How am I making someones life a misery?

Dill didn't say that.  It was you joking about having lots of parties.  That would be make someones life a misery.
My only issue is how angry this has made you and how much you blame your neighbours for not liking being woken in the middle of the night. 

>Do you not understand that I have not had a party since April BECAUSE OF THE NEIGHBOURS?!?!?!?!?!?!

>I have changed my plans and my social life for the sake of them

Tailoring your life to fit around your neighbours needs is what we all have to do.  That is the normal way of things.  It isn't so bad :)

Yes Dill did say that - read the above post!

Im not angry either, Im making a point, maybe your reading it that Im angry, but im not angry, not angry at all.

> Yes Dill did say that - read the above post!
>

I did read it and thought about what she said.:)

> Im not angry either, Im making a point, maybe your reading it that Im angry, but im not angry, not angry at all.

>Grrrrr. Im so mad!

>Do you not understand that I have not had a party since April BECAUSE OF THE NEIGHBOURS?!?!?!?!?!?!

I'm not entirely clear why you started this thread then.

Hmm Im starting to wonder that myself!

Sorry i don't know how to quote on this forum, the layout is a little odd from what i'm used to.

>Tailoring your life to fit around your neighbours needs is what we all have to do.  That is the normal way of things.  It isn't so bad.

EXACTLY!

I don't complain to them at getting woken up at what for me is daft o'clock (although i have mentioned it on here), i don't complain to them about the scaffolding being put up and having builders peering through the window because they want their roof doing, i don't complain about being told i can't park my own car on my own drive in case the builders drop some tiles off the roof as a result of us agreeing to said scaffolding, or the fact that i have to be careful about what angle i exit our driveway to avoid an angry woman coming round accusing me of possibly, maybe killing her child if i was really unlucky and the wind was blowing in the wrong direction!

Our neighbours don't tailor their life to fit around their neighbours needs at all, we had one BBQ in April where someone fired an iPod touch up for about 3 minutes and she goes nuts and a few months later decides to start making stories up about people partying in the house when the reality was there was only a pair of 3 year old cats roaming the house.

Next time her kid starts screaming at 5am maybe I should go around & start hammering on the door threatening legal action, but do i? No, i turn over and just wait for the noise to end whilst thinking "shut the hell up!"

We've had to alter our lives for them but the more we give in to them the more they expect from us.

Then perhaps it would be wise to organise a time when you can have a conversation with them and air all your grievances together like grown ups?
If you really feel you HAVE tailored your lives around them and they haven't given you the same courtesy, discuss it with them!  It can't make anything worse, but it certainly could help both parties (forgive the unintentional pun) feel a darn sight better.

As an aside, not parking your car on your own driveway whilst roofing work is being done nearby is quite a sensible thing isn't it?

> i don't complain to them about the scaffolding being put up and having builders peering through the window because they want their roof doing

To be fair houses need maintenance sometimes and you are entitled to use a neighbours property if that is essential to access, with or without their permission.  It just speeds it up if permission is given.  Always sensible to give it and get on with it.  Do you really want a next door property to deteriorate?  It is also sensible not to leave your car around the work area.  Not sure what you expect your neighbours to do about that.

Exiting your car with due regard for young children seems sensible too and again seems little to ask.

>where someone fired an iPod touch up for about 3 minutes

Presumably not mid afternoon :)  As someone else said it is not always the length of time of the disturbance, once you are woken up it is hard to go back to sleep particularly if low level noise, that might not have woken you, continues.

>Next time her kid starts screaming at 5am

No wonder they want their sleep at night :) 
Children are children, they grow up :)  We have lived in our house for 25 years and seen several young families through these stages.  It always passes :)

I had a BBQ for the royal wedding and my birthday back in April (2 BBQs 2 weeks apart) and things did get a little out of hand. I went to bed at midnight because I was ill and the neighbours rung me to say we needed to turn the music off. We did as it was 4 in the morning.      (Quote from Tracey)

and things did get a little out of hand.        This says it all.

we had one BBQ in April where someone fired an iPod touch up for about 3 minutes    (Quote from iamzod)

Someone got their wires crossed in the telling of the story

> we had one BBQ in April where someone fired an iPod touch up for about 3 minutes    (Quote from iamzod)
>
> Someone got their wires crossed in the telling of the story

Ah, I had forgotten iamzod was the same household.  Definately not mid afternoon then.

I'm thinking this thread has blown well out of proportion now..
In all honesty from what Tracey has said is that she's had 2 BBQ's in April, 2.... And then they came home late the other night.. Ok they made some noise, no I probably wouldn't of been happy about it either if woken up, however on the face of things this doesn't seem to be happening every night or every weekend. And when you look at it 3 times in 8 months, ummm, well tbh its not that bad in all accounts.. I think we need to give the girl a break..

Tracey just for the record if for any reason you have a party or end up being noisy etc, just make a note of it and times etc and if a party give your neighbours plenty of warning and invite them, doubt they will come along, but at least you've asked..:-).. Also if you get woken up at say 5am or your partner doesn, again this is anti social timings and note this down too.

I do think though that with the way you aggrieved at your neighbours for going to your Dad then a mediation with them maybe worth trying? Would they be willing to do it with your Dad running it? At least then you can both say your piece in a calm way and discuss on how to move forward as you b oth have to live in the neighbourhood.. You really don't want to get into any tit for tat type behaviour.. I know you were joking, but all the same sometimes these things just leand themselves..

I don't think anyone has lost sight of the fact there have been very few occasions what, I think, people have responded to is Traceys apparent anger at her neighbours.
A simple appology to them would probably have been all it took.

Im not angry at my neighbours, Im more upset and annoyed with the way things have been done.

My neighbour is very quick tempered and when she comes to ask us not to do things she has a shriek in her voice which makes it sound like she is having a go all the time. Its very difficult to remain pleasant in these circumstances (even though I have never said a bad word to them and always spoke polite etc)

>she has a shriek in her voice which makes it sound like she is having a go all the time.

One of my neighbours has an accent that grates on me - but that's my problem, not his!