> just because the ex husband wanted to bring his new girlfriend

but sedona has been invited by the family.your scenario only applies if the ex husband/new boyfriend tries to bring his new girlfriend to a "do",uninvited.

but sedona has been invited by the family.your scenario only applies if the ex husband/new boyfriend tries to bring his new girlfriend to a "do",uninvited.

I THOUGHT I was invited too as my BF said so several times -my point being, does Sedona know for sure?

Good point, Marianne!    On this basis, if it were me, I would phone up the member of OH's family to whom I'm closest, and ask "am I invited, because ......." It would then give her a better base from which to decide which step to take.

> if it were me, I would phone up the member of OH's family to whom I'm closest, and ask "am I invited, because ......."

TBH if it were me and I doubted my partner's honesty to ME about whether I was included in the invitation then I think the least of my worries would be what his family may or may not think of me attending such a significant event but, much more importantly, what on earth had I wasted 3 years of my life for in an intimate relationship with a man I didn't trust ....

> You could accept and then 'be ill' and stay at home if you felt awkward about attending, but you certainly couldn't refuse the invitation, nor (even worse) could you attend some other function instead,

A tactical withdrawal ! :-)

Not saying this is the case with OP as don;t know the situation, but I would not wish to give the ex's or steps  anything negative to use as ammo !

> if it were me and I doubted my partner's honesty

yes,i agree with you there teri.what's the use of a relationship with so much mistrust that it is reduced to phoning the other's family to check up on their honesty?

We haven't addressed how far away the two events are from each other, and how long the Christening is going to be, will it go on to an evening do or is it just a day event? You could fein sickness and turn up later perhaps if close enough? I certainly would not say I was at a dog show.

Family is very important, weddings, funerals, christenings, birthdays are events when a family unites, being with your OH you now have an extended family out of duty to your partner you should be there, if your not it will send out the wrong message and may cause a seed of resentment which will grow and grow, you will be seen as selfish and uncaring towards his family, and in the long run may just end up with your dog! (Not a bad thing always, but family is very important)

As addressed the CCS is annually, it would be no contest for me.

Just to add for any future dog shows, you could do what my family and I do, due to there being so many of us and so much extended family we always swap diaries, if any of us have a show or dog activity going on we let each other know well beforehand therefore events can be worked around them and if an event is booked on that day it is done with the knowledge that one of us may need to be somewhere else, or we can then have prior knowledge to cancel the dog event if for instance it is a wedding, but we are all very accomodating of each other.

Dog shows are important and for those of us with a passion it is understandable, in the position you are in at the moment, no-one but your OH and son knew about the dog event before the Christening was booked so to others it will be a feeble excuse not to go, in future make sure yourself or OH lets others know well in advance even as an off the cuff remark at the importance of a show for you, then you won't be thrown in a bad light and if an event is booked to clash in future it isn't your fault, it's amazing how others then will understand.

But in this instance I really would go to the Christening. Others won't understand the importance.

TBH if it were me and I doubted my partner's honesty to ME about whether I was included in the invitation then I think the least of my worries would be what his family may or may not think of me attending such a significant event but, much more importantly, what on earth had I wasted 3 years of my life for in an intimate relationship with a man I didn't trust

I don't think it is always about trust. I know with my husband  often gets a story/message wrong or gets the wrong end of the stick. For all we know he has said that both will be attending and may not pick up on any undercurrent that may be there. I find a lot of men are a bit blinkered to what is going on around them. So it isn't always that there is no trust and he is wrong but may be a case of making sure that he has got his facts right.

> I THOUGHT I was invited too as my BF said so several times

This is the scenario I was envisaging when I suggested Sedona phones one of her OH's family to check .....some men are just so thick-skinned/oblivious to undertones that he might assume she is invited when she isnt.......