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Up Topic Dog Boards / Health / My dog died last night & I feel it's my fault.
- By Lorripop [gb] Date 28.05.17 15:52 GMT
I lost my dog yesterday evening in very sudden and quick time. He was 6 1/2 and a fit scottie boy, no health issues.
It was teatime and he was his normal excited self along with my other 3. I give the old boy(16) his first as he's slow and has kibble and forth glade. Then the other 3 get theirs, I had to give Stan kibble and forthgalde as hadn't got enough raw out and they do have kibble from time to time but this was a different make to the usual. I put his down and he went at it at his normal speedy rate, I then gave my other dog his. I turned to tidy up the food stuff then checked back round to check they were done and saw Stan come across the room very uncoordinated and not really standing, first thought was like he had a horse fly in fur and it was irritating him as his back legs were going mad, then he was on his side so I thought a seizure, I couldn't rouse him and he was just floppy, I called my son who rang vet but by this time which was only what felt like a few minutes it was obvious Stan was in deep trouble. I picked him up shook him a bit, put my fingers down his mouth but couldn't feel anything,  to be honest I didnt know what was feeling for.
I laid him back down screaming at him and rubbing him but he just shallowed breathed a couple of times then let out 3 medium cries and died.

My husband came home from work but it was all too late and I am just devastated and guilt ridden and keep crying just thinking about it. We took him down the vets once we hugged him etc and got our heads round it a bit and she checked him over. My biggest thing is that he choked and I didnt do enough, I didnt read the signs properly but he wasn't coughing or making any choking noises just in a collapsed stage very quickly. Vet found a soft lump in his lower abdomen area which I felt too, didnt feel firm enough for a stool but she didnt know what it was. She checked his mouth and felt round his neck area externally and said she couldn't feel anything (not sure you would anyway) and said choking was at the bottom of possible causes of what could have happened.

I did feel a bit reassured that I couldn't have done anything but felt it wasn't a total coincidence that it happened instantly after eating.

Today I've had a look online about dogs choking silently and there are cases, well I found one, and now the panic and anxiety that I have is overwhelming beyond belief that I let him die without doing more and knowing the signs. It all happened so quickly and in such short a time before he was dead, I'd say less 5 minutes because thats how it felt but may have been 8 or 10 but no more.

I have asked about post mortem as I need to know but vet said nothing will happen until Tuesday as bank holiday plus needs to find out cost. they can do a basic one at the vets but confessed it isn't something they do all the time or he can be sent to proper place for a more thorough examination.
Am I just torturing myself more having this done? anyone else had the a similar experience?

thanks for reading, just beside myself with grief at the moment and shock. I know it doesn't compare to awful events in Manchester this week but I bred him and now feel I've failed him at a time when he needed me to help most.:sad:
- By mixedpack [gb] Date 28.05.17 16:01 GMT Upvotes 2
So sorry for your loss but I don't think you can have caused his death, my feeling would be that it was co-incidental and as it was so fast you could not have done anything to save him, it's so much worse when death is unexpected and wanting an explanation is natural, I do hope you have support to come to terms with your grief. Everyone on here has suffered the pain of losing a beloved pet and although no amount of words can help I am feeling sad for you x
- By Harley Date 28.05.17 16:06 GMT Upvotes 1
You have undergone a huge shock so no wonder you feel so bad at the moment - I am so, so sorry for your loss.

Please don't blame yourself - from what you have written you did absolutely all that you could and were very quick thinking in your actions. Not everyone is able to react so quickly in an emergency situation, but you did. When we lose someone in an unexpected accident it is normal to think of all the things we could have done to have prevented it from happening yet in reality there is usually nothing at all that we could have done more - rehashing it over and over again looking for something we could have done differently is a part of grieving. It also happens when we know someone is reaching the end of their days - we know it is going to happen but our brains won't yet accept that they have gone so we look for all the things we could have done differently.

Losing your dog so unexpectedly and at a young age will have sent you into a complete spin and the thoughts you have are normal for the situation you find yourself in. In time you will realise that you did all that you could and sometimes dreadful unexpected things happen.

Wishing you peace and courage during this very difficult time - let yourself grieve for your loss which is just as great as any other loss x
- By Lorripop [gb] Date 28.05.17 16:12 GMT
thank you both
just wish I hadn't given him kibble too as that could have been the cause. So many things go through your head don't they?!

Any thoughts on PM? I am hoping it would help me either way, but its still very raw presently.
- By Cava14Una [gb] Date 28.05.17 17:46 GMT Upvotes 1
Sorry this has happened to you. Try not to feel guilty these awful things just happen sometimes.

Many years ago I came home from the vet after my dog had been checked to make sure he was fit to have a growth on his foot removed. He checked out fine and the op was booked for two days later.

About 2 hours after I got home I went to feed the dogs. Had put all the dishes down heard a strange noise turned round and he was convulsing and was dead in minutes.

I phoned the vets and the vet I had seen couldn't believe it.

It was such an awful shock so I can understand how you felt. It's a horrible thing to go through but I doubt either of us could have done anything.

As for the PM I don't know I didn't have one and haven't regretted it but you have to do what feels right to you.
- By Harley Date 28.05.17 19:14 GMT
Mine are raw fed but get the occasional kibble meal - a different one every time as a friend is an agent for CSJ and gives me any samples he has left over.

My dogs are large ones so I mix different varieties together. It won't have happened because you fed him kibble - and raw food isn't infallible either.
- By suejaw Date 28.05.17 20:54 GMT Upvotes 1
Oh gosh that sounds awful for you. Really sorry for your loss.

I doubt it was anything to do with the kibble however will you be able to put your mind at rest by not knowing what happened? Once you do will that help do you Think?

Being he was so young and it was clearly very traumatic I know I personally would want to know what caused this. That's me and we are all different.

Hope you find peace in time xx
- By Lorripop [gb] Date 28.05.17 21:59 GMT
Thank you.

It was awful & I've done nothing but relive it from this afternoon onwards and can't get the picture of his blue tongue out my head or that I should done the hindliche (sp) manourve on him or pulled his tongue forward or checked quicker in his throat. This is all assuming it was a choking, which I just know it was, guilt gut instinct.
I try give my dogs the best, & keep them safe yet I feel failure to him & in his time of desperate need I couldn't help.  I can't control the panic and pain that overwhelms me when I think of it.
Cava14una your incident sounds similar, so your dogs was a seizure?

A PM is the way to go for me  and then I can try accept and deal with it. Costs vary but around £200 from what I've researched.

I was quite nervous doing the dinners tonite for my other 3 & watched them like a hawk.
- By JeanSW Date 28.05.17 22:12 GMT Upvotes 1
I am so very sorry for your loss.  I lost one of my girls in January 2014.  Totally unexpected, and far too soon.  So I know how you are feeling, I still cry over her now.  And so will you.  I wondered if it was my fault in some way, so I think the feeling is pretty normal.  I didn't want my girl messed around, I felt that it wasn't going to bring her back.  So having a PM has to be personal choice.  I just want you to know that I have genuinely had an unexpected loss, and totally understand your grief.  One thing I know - your boy will wait for you at the bridge.  {{{{  HUGS  }}}}
- By Cava14Una [gb] Date 29.05.17 06:39 GMT

>>Cava14una your incident sounds similar, so your dogs was a seizure?>>

Well it looked like that to me but I'm not a vet. He was a Boxer and they have heart problems so could have been connected to his heart although he had done agility with no problems.

I really hope the PM gives you a bit of closure((hugs))
- By MamaBas Date 29.05.17 07:45 GMT
Very sad for your unexpected loss but my thought would be a sudden and catastrophic heart attack.   Not to do with eating/choking.   I hope you don't have to wait too long for the results of the PM, so you can have closure.
- By chaumsong Date 29.05.17 10:41 GMT Upvotes 1
Oh how horrific for you, it doesn't sound like anything to do with the food though and there's certainly nothing you could have done differently. My thoughts are with you xx
- By Nikita [gb] Date 29.05.17 12:31 GMT Upvotes 1
Heart attack was my first thought too, having had a dog go down this way.  Very similar and she cried out too.  I can't see how you could have done anything differently.  Or indeed it could have been a seizure - it's not at all unheard of for dogs with no known history of them whatsoever to suddenly have a single large, fatal one.  It happened to a friend's dog.

Please, don't beat yourself up - you did everything you could but sadly, life is cruel this way sometimes.
- By darwinawards Date 29.05.17 12:58 GMT Upvotes 1
I lost a girl in almost similar circumstances five years ago. I had just given all the girls a raw chicken wing, had turned round for a few seconds to wash my hands at the sink, looked round and she was struggling on her legs. The rest is painful history.....

Like you, I immediately blamed myself but a Post mortem showed that she had suffered a huge cardiac arrest and there was nothing that I could have done to change the outcome. The way you describe events it sounds almost identical, I hope this helps you to know this.

I feel your pain and distress and my thoughts are with you at this very sad time.
- By Lorripop [gb] Date 29.05.17 16:19 GMT
I suppose I find it hard to believe that it could have been anything else other than a choking because it was immediately as he finished his dinner. I didnt see him actually finish as like you was washing up utensils etc but I turned fairly quickly as I check the other doesn't barge the oldie out the way and eat his. This is when Stan suddenly scrambled a short distance from his bowl but he never really stood up and was on his side in a few seconds.
He had eaten everything in his bowl and thinking about it it was fairly clean as though he had licked it but all just a haze now.

I've brought myself ignatia to take along with white chestnut and st johns wort all in the hope of reducing the panic feeling I keep getting. The mind runs away with spiralling thoughts.

Hoping the vet can arrange PM quickly once all back to work tomorrow. I know if it was anything else other than choking I will calm down I'm sure.

Thank you for sharing your painful memories, not easy to relive things but it has been helpful along  with the words of comfort  & to know it may well have been total coincidence.
- By Blay [us] Date 29.05.17 16:49 GMT Upvotes 1
I'm so very sorry for your loss and the awful trauma you are going through.

I really hope you can find some peace about this and not blame yourself.

Many, many years ago my mother lost a dog in similar circumstances.  The dog was apparently fit and well and not very old (I cannot remember her exact age).  She was extremely greedy like many Labradors.  One day she ate her tea with her usual enthusiasm.  Immediately after she finished it she collapsed and was dead within a couple of minutes.  I was not there at the time and there was no PM carried out.  However, all discussions with the vets following my mother's description of events pointed to the strong likelihood that she had experienced a massive heart attack.  Nothing to do with choking.  Before this she appeared completely normal in every way and there was no indication of what was about to happen.

I think it's worth adding that her death, although profoundly shocking for my poor mother, was so swift that the dog would have known nothing about what was happening.   She would not have suffered as she would have been unconscious almost straightaway.

Such a cruel thing for you to go through but it sounds as if there is nothing you did 'wrong' or anything you could have done to save your lovely boy.

I wish you strength at this dreadful time, and hope that the PM results will provide some much needed comfort.
Blay  XX
- By kazz [gb] Date 30.05.17 21:10 GMT
Nothing I can add other than  my thoughts are with you.
- By Lorripop [gb] Date 02.06.17 10:40 GMT Upvotes 5

vet called yesterday as she had started the PM but couldn't fully do as Stan hadn't thawed as quick as they thought but she wanted to determine if it was a choking asap for my sanity. She said all his windpipe(trachea) was clear, no food or foreign body and no bruising. I questioned her a 1000 times about it but she said it wasn't choking that killed him.
Today they are going to do more investigating but if it were a blood clot they may not find this as they are not specialised enough. This was just my normal vets as decided in the end not to send him away for full investigation because all needed to know was if he choked, hopefully they may see something that could have been the cause.

I feel far more less anxious now and better that it wasn't me that caused his death and that I couldn't have done anything to help him. Pure coincidence it happened directly after eating, just like everyone tried to tell me!!
- By kazz [gb] Date 02.06.17 20:34 GMT
Hope that helps puts your mind at rest..
Up Topic Dog Boards / Health / My dog died last night & I feel it's my fault.

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