I am so broken.
We had to make the decision to let Alfie go so suddenly last week.
I still don't know if we made the right call. He had two seizures, the first one we weren't even sure was a seizure, but within 9 hours - the second one was huge and we (and the vet) think it did some serious damage to his poor brain.
After tests and blood tests, nothing was apparent as to the cause and so the vet suggested that if he have one more seizure, the best thing to do would be to put him to sleep. The vet seemed to think it was definitely something neurological.
After the awful second seizure, we just couldn't bear the thought of him having another and he was so confused and dazed.
He barely recognised us when we went to the vet. He was a completely different dog.
We didn't stay with him when he was given his wings. As much as it would have been painful for us, why oh why didn't I stay with my boy.
I feel that we have done so many things wrong, unsure of our decision and I don't know that I can ever forgive myself. I feel like I have let him down.
Run free my beautiful boy. I miss you. I love you.