Champdogs Information Exchange
03.09.16 20:58 GMT
We lost our irreplaceable little Jack on Tuesday. He was taken much too soon, he didn't even reach his eighth birthday.
He was always so full of life and made me smile every single day.
He had been dealt a raw deal right from the start, he was injured by his mother at 2 weeks old, that didn't matter to me, I had already fallen for the crazy little bundle of fun from the minute I clapped eyes on him. At about 8 months old he developed itchy skin so had to take steroids so he did not scratch himself raw. At age 3 he developed epilepsy but still this did not crush his spirit. The medication made him a bit gormless at times but that didn't matter. Last years diagnosis was to be the one which eventually he could not win the fight. He was diagnosed with inflammatory bowel disease and protein losing enteropathy, such a cruel disease to have to battle in addition to all his other problems, yet battle he did, so much so we did not realise just exactly how sick he was until the day he passed away. He was such a brave little trooper he never complained, his personality always shone through if you hadn't have known you would never have thought he was battling all these horrible conditions.
It was such a shock, we never got to say goodbye, we took him in for tests because he had started developing fluid in his legs over the weekend but he was petrified of the vets so always had to be sedated. As this had been done so many times before I never expected it to be any different. His poor little body could no longer cope with all that he had to put up with and his heart stopped under the sedation. At the same moment my heart had been ripped in two.
The house is so quiet without you, gone is the sound of your bark to greet me when I return home. Your favourite toy remains unplayed with in your favourite chair. I miss you sticking your head in the bin as soon as my back is turned and pinching the chips from the worktop. I miss you trying to get a sly lick of the plates in the dishwasher every time I try to load it.
We only had you for such a short time but you have been such a huge part of our life and have left such a very big void. I feel blessed to have been your mum for almost eight years and wouldn't have changed you for the world. Such a special little dog, with a cheeky personality and a bundle of fun.
Its time to run free, without pain. I hope you have found Fagin, another brave little dog who battled with a host of problems too. He will look after you until I come to the bridge and we can be a family once again.
Goodnight little chicken.
Love and miss you so much.
Mum, Dad & Rocky xxx
03.09.16 22:13 GMT
I am so very sorry for your loss, I can feel your pain. I know it's probably not what you want to hear, but I genuinely know how you feel. Sending some of my strength to help you through. I know that Jack will wait for you at the bridge.
Run free Jack. RIP xxx
So sad to read. Jack is at peace, but I know how it feels not to have been able to say goodbye. Take time to grieve, and cherish those memories.
We all know how you are hurting. Hugs. From Jane x
Such lovely words for a special lad. Try and think of the good times, of which I'm sure there were many and think of him free from pain. He will be waiting for you xxx
Lovely words for your special boy. Xxx
04.09.16 13:07 GMT
Run free Jack. He will be greatly missed but it would have been even worse to have never had him in your life. They take a piece of our hearts with them when they go
So sorry for your pain, it brought tears to my eyes as I remember my dear girl taken a few weeks ago, now running in the Summer Lands, I hope that somehow it helps that you know that others feel the grief too and it will pass into happy memories with time.
Sorry to hear this xx
04.09.16 19:51 GMT
Thank you everbody for all your kind words. I never thought I would get over losing my last dog Fagin and it took me 3 years before I allowed myself to open my heart to another. We in fact got two brothers from the same litter. We still have Rocky who is epileptic also like Jack and has had three seizures since we lost him on Tuesday. The poor lad must wonder where his best pal has gone, he never had the chance to say goodbye either, as I said before we thought we were just going for tests and he would be home in a couple of hours.
I know it gets easier with time as I have been there before almost 11 years ago its just so difficult coming to terms with the fact life is never going to be the same again.
I know I will have to go through this yet again when Rocky's time comes however as much as my dogs have always been my life I am not sure I can go through this heartbreak time after time after time and fear Rocky may well be my last dog.
Obviously my thoughts are with you in all of this but don't make ANY decisions about another dog at the moment. You are feeling raw and not helped by the fact this has probably been such a shock. I lost one of mine at 5 (he took a face full of crop spray and went blind almost immediately which he couldn't cope with so we had to make the terrible decision for him). At least we were there at the end however and had a houise-full of others. I lost another, probably the best bitch we'd ever bred and very special in her own right, at least 2 years too soon, to cancer. That was hard too.
Sadly they just don't live long enough, in any case. We all grieve in our own way and sometimes thinking about having another just isn't on the cards. Just know Jack is at peace and looking down not wanting you to be sad but to remember the good times.
Outside your grief, if you have two from the same litter who had/have epilepsy, I hope you have let the breeder know because this mating should never be repeated. I basically ended my bloodline when I discovered, years after the event, that the last outside stud dog we'd used, and his mother! had been lost to epilepsy. This can skip generations so even if those from that litter never fitted (which they didn't), it could have popped up at any time down the line.
Give Rocky lots of cuddles - he will be missing his brother.
17.09.16 23:43 GMT
Thank you for your reply. Sorry it has taken me a while to respond however its taken a little time just to be able to write about Jack without bursting into tears. That must have been such a heartbreaking decision for you to have to make I can imagine you have gone over it in your head a thousand times, if only you had taken him out at a different time etc etc etc.
I am beginning to come to terms with it a bit now. It was such a shock, although I knew he was unlikely to live to a ripe old age with all the medication he was on, I was however expecting him to have a fair bit longer. I know in my heart it wouldn't have happened if he had been fit and healthy but his poor little body had had enough. He had so much to put up with in his short life and although I would give anything to have him back I would not want him to suffer and fear I may have selfishly prolonged that if it had been left to me to make that awful decision. I know it would have been so very difficult for me to have to do that.
I am trying my best not to dwell too much on the negatives, life with Jack in it was never miserable so I am trying my best to smile when I think about him rather than cry as that's what I always did when he was around. He was such a bundle of fun and the house is just so quiet without him. I am not sure I will ever get used to the quiet. He was a very vocal dog and used to greet me every night when I got home with a good old bark.
I never thought after my last dog Fagin I could ever love another dog as much, how wrong I was. I am grateful I had him for the time I did and feel like he was sent to me for a reason. I never gave up on him and spent the last 12 months sleeping downstairs so I could manage his condition easier when he needed the loo in the early hours of the morning. I know I did everything I could and the vet said I was one of the most dedicated owners they have, unfortunately this dedication was no match for this horrible, cruel condition.
As for the breeder, if I ever set eyes on him again I wouldn't want to incriminate myself in saying what I would like to do to him. I know he no longer has their mother and their father sadly passed away a few years ago so he won't be breeding them again. He knows about the epilepsy as he is a friend of my brother in law so if he has any kind of conscience I would hope he has passed this information on to the new owner of their mother.
Rocky seems to be settling down a bit now. I am still sleeping downstairs with him so I don't change his routine too much in one go. Its been a big change for him losing his brother so we are taking things one step at a time so the stress does not bring on any more seizures.
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